Anyhow, midway through touting a pair of faux fur lined clogs that are capable of keeping your feet dry and, from the sounds of it, curing cancer, the sales lady mentioned that in order to make it to QVC in the middle of a blizzard, she had to stay overnight at the local hotel. Which leads at last to my main point:
1. Since splitting with Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron has publicly announced his burning desire to find a 32 year old socially awkward secretary with whom to share his life. In order to find a candidate with enough dedication to be considered worthy of betrothal, he is to begin his search of East Coast civil engineering firms immediately following a major blizzard.
2. In possession of a winning $132 million Powerball ticket, I am planning to give my two weeks notice the day of said storm. Giving two weeks notice for any other reason, such as finding another shitty corporate job, can certainly wait until the weather clears. But the sheer filthiness of my riches requires that I book a junior suite at the Red Roof Inn, get wasted on Clamato juice and vodka, and drive my smug self into work without delay.
3. The first fifteen people into the office will be cast as extras in the yet uncontemplated 2020 remake of Lord of the Rings.
Anything other than that, I'm taking a snow day.
The Only Reasons Secretary4Life Would Ever Stay at a Hotel in Order to Make it Into Work During a Blizzard:
1. Since splitting with Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron has publicly announced his burning desire to find a 32 year old socially awkward secretary with whom to share his life. In order to find a candidate with enough dedication to be considered worthy of betrothal, he is to begin his search of East Coast civil engineering firms immediately following a major blizzard.
2. In possession of a winning $132 million Powerball ticket, I am planning to give my two weeks notice the day of said storm. Giving two weeks notice for any other reason, such as finding another shitty corporate job, can certainly wait until the weather clears. But the sheer filthiness of my riches requires that I book a junior suite at the Red Roof Inn, get wasted on Clamato juice and vodka, and drive my smug self into work without delay.
3. The first fifteen people into the office will be cast as extras in the yet uncontemplated 2020 remake of Lord of the Rings.
Anything other than that, I'm taking a snow day.
