Dear Taker of One Quarter of the Chocolate Chip Muffin: Just take the whole damn thing. Or cut it in half. With a quarter I don't know what parts you touched. It's worthless now.
I used to be a pretty good secretary who hated her job. Now I write books and I feel much better. I hang onto this blog because it has some funny stuff that I wrote back when I was bored out of my mind.