Christmas

Offices have the unique ability to always produce the opposite results of what they intend - take for example any attempt by management to organize a “fun” event in which you are supposed to bond with your coworkers. The end result of this event is that the coworkers you already disliked you now dislike even more, and the ones you didn’t really know you now know enough to dislike.

Christmastime around the office is no exception. Nothing makes you long for your own living room like watching the office Christmas tree be removed from the storage tubs that its been crammed into for the past 11 months, its tubular sections of aluminum trunk snapped into place, and its molded polymer needles fluffed by an underpaid receptionist. The empty paper boxes that are gift wrapped and placed under the tree always keep me in eager anticipation of Christmas morning. God help me if I ever wake up at the office on Christmas morning.